did you get engaged???
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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