Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
