TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
