i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
