you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
