No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
