i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
