You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
