no, he came in my armpit
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
