i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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