Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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