its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
