i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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