Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she peed on how many people?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
