R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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