she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
