If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Randomize
