Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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