i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
