Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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