Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
