but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
