I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
