ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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