im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
