But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize