So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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