I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
