How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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