..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
