Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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