made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
