One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
