fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
