I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize