So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
