meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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