My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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