I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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