he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
