She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
