Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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