He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
