I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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