Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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