Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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