watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
