How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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