Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
