I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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