I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize