Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
