And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
