i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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