She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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