I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
