Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
PANTIES FOUND
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
