She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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