How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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