i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
