I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
