Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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