I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
