oh god the rape fog is back!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize