Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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