you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
