I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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