my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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