..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
