Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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