I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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