Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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