4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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