Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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