Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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