butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
