That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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