I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
