just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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