We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
